#100DPS Day 82: You’ll Always Be My Baby

She’s my top favorite person.

She’s my sun and my moon.

She’s my remedy.

She’s my everything.

She’s my mom.

No words can describe my love for my mother. But I believe, nothing can describe her love for her children.

One evening, I was sitting on the back porch and talk with my mom about anything. When suddenly we jump into a conversation about me going to go overseas for my study.

I recently got accepted in one of university in Spain. But it seems like I will hold this opportunity for one simple reason (And people might think that it’s a riddiculous reason. But not for me.) :

I don’t want to leave my mother again, yet.

I have left her for four years long when I went to Bandung for college. And it’s still not one year yet since I came back to Jakarta. But I have to leave so soon for my master degree?

Doesn’t seem like a good idea for both of us.

Actually, at first, I was excited to hear the news about getting accepted. Then, when I told my mom about it, I heard no words but I can see her gloomy eyes ‘talking’ to me like “really? You have to leave me again? This soon?”. I can never see that kind of gaze.

I thought about it a lot of times. The pros and cons whether to go or not to go. Then I remember a moment when I was sick, two weeks before.

At that time, I was just staying in bed all day for two days in a row. And my mom took a really great care of me. She even rub my back with oil after bath (I like it because it smells good and feels warm hehe).

As she rub my back gently, she said “you’ll always be my baby”.

I tried not to cry. But I failed.

And in that evening conversation, I asked her “do you ever miss me so much when I was in Bandung?”

My mom smiled and said “do you know how hard I tried not to worry about you? Do you know how difficult was it to hear that you were sick, but I wasn’t there for you? Do you know how much I cried when we chatted on Facebook and I said ‘oh my dear daughter, you have grown now and  you start your own life in Bandung’?”

I was like “really? Is it true, mom?”

She nodded.

I held my tears.

Mom, how can I be so dense? You pour me rain of love, and I only give you a glass of love in return. How fool I am.

Mom, I always pray to God, to give you a healthy, long, and happy life. So you can witness my success with your own eyes, and hug me with proud. And you can see your grandchildren.

I’ll always be your baby, and you’ll always be my everything.

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