#100DPS Day 84: Future Kids

I don’t want my future kids to secretly write that they hate their parents.

This idea came out few days ago, when I found my very very old diary. I was tidying up my cupboard when I suddenly nudged on a book edge tucked behind my old stuff. And ta-daa! It’s my old diary.

I have probably been keping that book for 15 years now. Of course, I already forget what I wrote inside the book. I don’t even remember that I still have the book.’

Then when I open the book, I found my old dark little secret.

The 7 year-old me wrote about how she hated her parent. How she really felt left. How she thought that her father was too cruel to her. She wished that her father could be a little kinder, so she could be a little happier.

Oh so now I know why did I hide the book, place it in a secret corner.

It makes me think:

  1. Did my parent treated my that bad?
  2. Why was the 7 year-old me so selfish?
  3. What the hell did I do? What the hell did my parent do?

But, then I remember it all.

It is so sad to look at the fact that:

  1. I, at one time, hated my parent.
  2. My parents had done so much for me.
  3. Kids are truly honest about their feelings.

It blows my mind.

And now I realize that I’m not the only one who feels it. My siblings also feel it.

I took some time to think about it. It already happened and I can’t change it.

I just can change what’s going to happen in the future.

I promise to my self that I’ll try to my best as a parent. Be supportive parents, together with my future husband, for my future kids.

Seriously, I don’t ever want my future kids to secretly write that they hate their parent.

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