#100DPS Day 85: I Wish It Was A Joke

Recently, I’ve been having a weird pain in my right breast. It’s been happening for about a month. And it’s getting worse day by day. I thought about it a lot.

It’s getting worse when I had a terrible migraine for about three weeks straight. Like, everyday.

I began to think “this is not normal”.

One day, I gathered my courage to check my right breast and found a quite big lump in it.

“Damn, this is serious” that’s what I thought instantly.

I tried not to think about it, but the pain is undeniable. So I decided to have a medical check up.

I did some examination, and the result came out a week later.

When I open the report, I stunned. I tried to calm my self down and I think I failed.

The doctor called my name to go to her room. She read the report for me. And when she finally reach that surprising page, she casually said “so, you have a tumor in your right breast, you should go to surgeon to discuss about it”.

BOOM.

Something explode inside my head.

I jokingly replied “seriously, is it a real tumor? you’re kidding me, right?”

“yes, of course, it’s a tumor” she (again) said it casually.

It broke my heart.

I never expect something like this would happen to me.

It hurt. My heart hurt. The lump hurt. My head was aching.

I wish it was a joke.

Or if it’s not, I really wish I could just take it as a “come on, it’s just a tumor. Chill out  babe.” Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

—–

So, I think I would rearrange the whole 2016 resolution into: “Survive and beat it down. I’m gonna be okay and healthy again.”

And now I really need a support system, you don’t have to do extraordinary thing for me. Just pray for me and wish me luck. I’m going to a battlefield to fight against this tiny stuff inside my breast. And I DEFINITELY will win.

I also don’t want this to occur to any of you. May Allah always bless and protect you all, giving you healthy and happy life. Aamiin.

Wish me luck, guys! 😉

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